Things I’m Reflecting On Before I Turn 40 on Saturday

I turn 40 on Saturday. Forty.


There was a time when that number felt far away. Now it feels powerful. Earned. Sacred. As this birthday approaches, I’ve found myself reflecting more than celebrating not in a heavy way, but in an intentional one. Because 40 doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like alignment.


First, I’m reflecting on resilience.


I’ve survived things I never saw coming. Losing my dad. Navigating grief publicly and privately. Reinventing myself more than once. Watching doors close that I was sure were meant for me. And yet, I’m still here. Still building. Still dreaming. That alone is worth celebrating.


I’m reflecting on courage.


There were seasons where I bet on myself when no one else did. I left stability to pursue entrepreneurship full time. I built platforms for women who look like me when others said the audience was “too niche.” I kept going through uncertainty. Forty feels like proof that courage compounds.


I’m reflecting on softness.


For so long, I wore strength like armor. Hustle. Push. Perform. Achieve. But this new decade? I want ease. I want joy without guilt. I want rest without explanation. I’ve learned that softness is not weakness. It’s wisdom.


I’m reflecting on identity.
At 20, I was becoming. At 30, I was building. At 40, I am choosing. Choosing what feels aligned. Choosing who gets access to me. Choosing peace over proving.


I’m also reflecting on comparison.


It’s so easy to look around and measure your timeline against someone else’s. But I’ve learned something powerful: what is for you cannot miss you. My journey may not look like everyone else’s and that’s okay.
Forty feels like confidence without apology. I’m not trying to be liked by everyone. I’m trying to be aligned with myself.


And finally, I’m reflecting on gratitude.


Grateful for my family. Grateful for my community. Grateful for every lesson that shaped me. Even the painful ones. Especially the painful ones. Because they refined me. As I step into this new decade, I’m not asking, “Am I enough?” I know I am. I’m asking, “What do I desire next?”


Forty feels like freedom. Forty feels like focus.Forty feels like favor.
And I’m walking into it with intention, style, and a whole lot of gratitude.