40 for 40: A Year of Choosing Myself

In less than a month, I turn 40.


Just typing that feels surreal. Not because I’m afraid of the number but because of everything it represents. The lessons. The losses. The growth. The becoming. I’ve lived a lot of life in these 40 years, and this next chapter feels different. Quieter in some ways. Louder in others. More intentional. So instead of throwing myself a traditional birthday resolution or another vague promise to “do better,” I’m doing something that feels more honest.


This year, I’m committing to 40 for 40. Forty things I’m doing for myself, without guilt. No explanations. No justifications. No performing productivity or turning joy into a side hustle. Just choosing me. For most of my adult life, I’ve been in build mode. Building brands, businesses, opportunities, and a life I could be proud of. I’ve poured into others generously, sometimes at the expense of myself. And while I don’t regret that, I’ve learned that constantly being “the strong one” comes with a cost.


Especially after grief.


Losing my dad shifted how I see time. It made me acutely aware that “someday” isn’t promised and that waiting to enjoy life until everything is perfect is a gamble I’m no longer willing to take. Turning 40 feels like an invitation to live more fully now, not later. So 40 for 40 is exactly what it sounds like. Forty experiences, choices, moments, and acts of self-honoring that I’ve been wanting to do, love to do, or feel called to try. Some will be big. Some will be beautifully simple. Some may look indulgent. Others may be quiet and restorative. All of them will be mine.


This isn’t about being reckless or irresponsible. It’s about releasing the guilt that so many of us, especially women carry when we prioritize ourselves. The guilt for resting. For spending money on joy. For saying no. For doing something just because it feels good. This year, I’m done negotiating with myself about my own happiness.


Some of the things on my list are experiences I’ve put off because I was “too busy.” Others are things I’ve talked myself out of because they didn’t feel practical or productive enough. And some will be spontaneous because listening to my intuition is part of the practice. What I love most about this series is that it gives me permission to explore who I am now. Not who I was at 25. Not who I needed to be to survive certain seasons. But who I am becoming at 40 with more clarity, more softness, and a deeper respect for my own needs.


I’ll be sharing parts of my 40 for 40 journey as it unfolds—what I’m doing, what I’m learning, and how it feels to choose myself out loud. Not to impress anyone, but to remind myself (and maybe you) that joy is allowed. Pleasure is allowed. Rest is allowed. If you’re reading this and feeling a little tug in your spirit, I want to ask you something: What would you do for yourself if guilt wasn’t in the room?


And because I believe in community, I want to invite you into this with me. If you have suggestions- experiences, rituals, trips, challenges, indulgences, or simple joys you think I should add to my 40 for 40 list—please let me know.

​Drop them in the comments, send me a message, or share what you’d do for your own version of this. This year isn’t about proving anything. It’s about living. And I can’t wait to see where it takes me.